AMAZING QUESTIONS

Q. What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
> > A. Popeye beat him up.
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Q. What's the difference between a skinny blonde and a counterfeit
    dollar?
> > A. One's a phoney buck.
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Q: What the difference between 'hard' and 'light'?
> > A: You can sleep with a light on.
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Q. What did the leper say to the prostitute?
> > A. Keep the tip.
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Q. Why wasn't Jesus born in the U.S.A?
> > A. Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
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Q. What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?
> > A. They both contain stiffs but one's coming, the other's going.
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Q. Why does actor Edward Woodward have so many 'd's in his name?
> > A. Because otherwise he'd be Ewar Woowar.
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Q. How to you make Holy Water?
> > A. Take some normal water and boil the hell out of it.
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Q. Tony Blair, John Major and Paddy Ashdown are on a sinking boat.
     Who  gets saved?
> > A. The nation.
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Q. What are the three worst things about being an egg ?
> > A. It takes you 10 minutes to get hard. You have to come in  a box with five others. The only person ever to sit on your face  is  your mother
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Q. What did the "loose woman's" right leg say to the left leg?
> > A. Nothing. They've never met.
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> > Q: How can you tell when you're ugly?
> > A: You meet a cannibal and he orders a salad.
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Q: What's the one thing worse that a male chauvinist pig ?
> > A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
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Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job ?
> > A. After five years your job will still suck.
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Q: Why did the army send so many premenstrual women to the Gulf ?
> > A: Because they fought like animals and retained water for four days.
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> > -
> > Q. What do you get if you cross an owl with a hedgehog ?
> > A. A prick that stays up all night.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > --
> > Q: What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig ?
> > A: A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > -
> > Q: What the difference between your pay cheque and your penis ?
> > A: You don't have to persuade a woman to blow your pay cheque.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > -
> > Q: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than
> improving
> >    their minds?
> > A: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > -
> > Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
> > A: To stamp out forest fires.
> > Q: Why do elephants have big, round feet?
> > A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > -
> > Q: What's O.J. Simpson's new email address?
> > A: Slash, slash, backslash, escape, return, dollar sign, delete.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > --
> > Q: Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant ?
> > A: Because Ken comes in a different box.
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > -
> > Q. What's the difference between "Ooooh!" and "Aaahhhh!"?
> > A. About four inches
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > -
> > Q. What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
> > A. Spit, swallow and gargle
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Genuine comedy moments from our courts of law;
> > Q: Are you sexually active ?
> > A: No, I just lie there.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Q. What does an Essex girl use for protection when she has sex ?
> > A. A bus shelter
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

> > Q: How many sexists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
> > A: None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

> > Q: What do Kodak and condoms have in common ?
> > A: They both capture the moment.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > -
> > Q. What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E ?
> > A. One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.

      What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Rottweiler?
     ..Lipstick
    
     WHAT IS A WIFE?
     An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
    
     WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLE FOR?

It's Braille for  "Suck Here"