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25
Cool Things about Bombay-ites
1. You say "town " and expect everyone to
know that this means south of Churchgate.
2. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice
to you.
3. You have never been to the Gateway of India.
4. You don't hear sirens anymore.
5. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are common.
6. The trains make sense.
7. Your door has more than three locks.
8. The most frequently used part of your car is the
horn.
9. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
10. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
11. You consider beyond Andheri as "Upstate".
12. You think Chowpatty & Juhu beaches as
"nature."
13. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size
of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
14. You've been to New Bombay twice and got hopelessly
lost both times.
15. You spend more time each month travelling than you
spend at home.
16. You haven't heard the sound of true absolute
silence since 1977, and when you did, it terrified you.
17. You take fashion seriously.
18. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
19. You have 14 different menus of Free Home Deliveries
next to your telephone.
20. Going to "town" is considered a
"road trip."
21. You take a taxi to get to your health club to
exercise.
22. Your idea of personal space is no one actually
standing on your toes.
23. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
24. You have a minimum of five "worst cab rides
ever" stories.
25. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the
city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs.
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