Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and
so am I.
Your so boring, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back to you.
"Dual Airbags"
--picture of bill and hillary
on it!--
Our lips touched, then she crossed her legs and broke my glasses.
"Chili's a lot like sex: When it's good it's great, and even when it's bad,
it's not so bad."
A friend is someone you can call to help you move. A best friend is someone you
can call to help you move a body.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed
regularly, and for the same reason.
Lorena Bobbit for White House Intern.
Life
is sexually transmitted
Kids
in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids
The
problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
Lead
me not into temptation..I can find the way myself
When
your finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
There
are two types of pedestrians..the quick and the dead
A
closed mouth gathers no feet
The
more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Don't
blame me. I'm only doing what my Rice Crispies told me to do.
My child was inmate of the month at the county jail
My kid beat up your honor student
If crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fire, then what do
freedom fighters fight?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR"
DISLEXICS HAVE MORE FNU!
If a man is talking in the woods, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he
still wrong?
fight crime, buy a gun !
If only men could be as satisfying as chocolate
time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like bananas
home is where you hang your @
the best things in life are free plus tax
If Clinton's answer is yes, than it must have been a realy stupid question.
Skydivers: Good to the last drop
Why do they let semi-drivers drive big trucks?
Why do they call apartments "apartments" when they are built together?
The grass is always greener on TV
Easier said than sung in Russian
Smile and the world audits your taxes.
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
Women:can't live with them, can't force them into slavery
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
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