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CRICKET JOKES
NEW RELEASES - CRICKETER'S
BOOKS (WORLD CUP SPECIAL)
POLITICIANS'
OPINION ON CRICKET
Match
Fixing
Kapils
Song For You
NEW RELEASES - CRICKETER'S
BOOKS (WORLD CUP SPECIAL)
1.How to lose a winning match - Md.Azharuddin.
2.How to give fielding practice to opponents - Rahul dravid.
3.One Man Army - Sachin Tendulkar.
4.Next match is on Sunday - Anshuman Gaekwad
5.Why I am better than Donald Duck? - Ajit Agarkar(Who else!!!)
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POLITICIANS'
OPINION ON CRICKET
================================
LALOO :
No communal forces can remove Azharuddin from his captaincy.
SONIA :
I know that Robin Singh was born in WestIndies, just like I was born in Italy.
The whole country knows how committed he is with the Indian team and how
dedicated I am towards the nation.
CHANDRABABU NAIDU :
Every umpire should be given a computer or a laptop.
VAJPAYEE :
Jai jawan, jai kisan, jai vigyan and jai cricket.
BALTHACKEREY :
I do not know much about Cricket, but Pakistan can not play in India.
GORGE FERNANDES :
When we can sack Admiral Bhagwat, then why can't the cricket board sack
Azharuddin.
DEVA GOWDA :
Our team should sleep well during lunch time and while the third umpire makes
his decision to win more matches.
MENAKA GANDHI :
The dogs, birds and cats on the cricket field should be protected.
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MATCH
FIXING
Match fixing a bookie calls Hansie cronie before the match between india
and south africa.
Cell phone rings. Hansie picks up.
Cronie : hello
Bookie : I am ....... Here.
Cronie : yes tell me
Bookie : how is the pitch
Cronie : ya dry and good for batting
Bookie : I want u to loose today's match
Cronie : impossible
Bookie : I will pay u $20000
Cronie : but it is very difficult to make india win.
Bookie : I will pay u $25000
Cronie : still it is a tough ask or u tell by what margin we should win that
will be much more easier
Bookie : no india should win
Cronie : ok. I will try my best
Bookie : no make it.
Cronie : ok.
Bookie : what will be the score
Cronie : 300
Bookie : if u bat first
Cronie : yes
Bookie : no make it 220
Cronie : impossible. Agarkar and joshi are playing. Very difficult to play
badly.
Bookie : 220 no change.
Cronie : I will try
Bookie : ok. If india bat first
Cronie : 180
Bookie : no make it 275
Cronie : no u are asking too much. Dravid is playing.
Bookie : ok make it $30000
Cronie : I think this is going to be very tough match in my life time
Bookie : ok, deal is made.
Cronie : yes
Bookie : bye.
Match starts india bats first. India score only 220 in 50 overs. During the
lunch break hansie's cell rings.
Cronie : hello
Bookie : its me. why did india score only 220.
Cronie : what can I do. All six balls they scoring two runs and four balls only
one run and full toss balls they are defending.
Bookie : still u should have played badly.
Cronie : I asked all my bowlers to bowl badly. I also asked kirsten and gibs
to bowl. Still they didn't hit them. What can I do.
Bookie : ok. Forget it. I want u to loose the match.
Cronie : I will try.
Bookie : make only 180
Cronie : ok.
Bookie : bye.
S. Africa bats. They play really badly. They try to run only 1's for 2's. but
since indians were fielding they cant stop themselves from running 2's.
indians drop 6 catches. All south Africans charged down to joshi's bowling and
they purposely miss the ball, but they got to run a bye for that because
Dighe was searching for the ball behind the stumps. Inspite of bad display of
batting they score 218 of 49 overs. Last over 3 runs required the worst
part is agarkar is bowling. Hansie is still batting with strydom. Bookie
gets really furious. hansie is ready to face the last over his cell rings.
Cronie : hello
Bookie : its me. I told u so many times why did u do like this.
Cronie : what can I do. I tried my level best and I made it very obvious also.
Bookie : ok forget it. I want u to loose the match atleast now.
Cronie : what can I do. Our fate, agarkar is bowling
Bookie : I don't know u are loosing
Meanwhile Agarkar bowls hansie try's to hide his bat behind his back. But the
ball hits the bat and goes to third man. so they take a single.
Cronie : sorry what can I do I was hiding my bat but still the ball comes and
hit my bat. If I play much worse than this everybody will find out.
Bookie : (gets really tensed). Ok I can understand. But please don't take
last two runs.
Hansie speaks to strydom and tells him not to take a single. Agarkar bowls a
juicy full toss. Strydom uses all his batting skills and restricts it to a
single. Scores are level
Bookie : ok. Past is past. Atleast finish it in a tie. I don't know what u
are going to do u are not taking a single or u give u'r bat to the umpire.
Cronie : ok. Ok. Don't worry this time I will see to it we are not taking
the single. Let it be obvious also. I am not taking the single.
Agarkar bowls, unfortunately he bowls a no ball. S. Africa wins the match.
Bookie goes mad and Hansie faints in the field itself.
Moral : Indians doesn't have the necessity to fix the match. They are pure.
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Kapil's
Song For You
Rain rain come down again,
Sachin doesn't want to lose again
Pointing has become a pain
Gilchrist is at it again
Srinath's outbursts all in vain
Agarkar's forgotten his brain
Prasad can't find his luck
As his bouncers can't make Gilchrist duck
Sachin is biting his nails
Wondering what happens if he fails
Kumble can't find his way
It's just not India's day
Fielders don't want to slide on the green
With hands smeared with butter and margarine
Sunny says my boys are bowling rubbish
"Oh God make him dumb" is my wish
While we are trying to find excuses lame
He speaks as if he knows the game
Kumble says that we can't cite Y2K as an excuse
Now we have nothing to gain but a lot to lose
Azza might be rubbing his hands with glee
As my boys are having nightmares of Lee
Did we do right after winning the toss?
I wish Jaddu were here for helping Sachin the boss
My first stint as the coach of the team
Down Under lies shattered my dream
"Let's play under lights" pleads Steve
Does he want us to play or leave
With Lee and Akthar in the tri-series
There seems no end to our worries
"Oh God do a mini-Orissa at MCG"
Everyone will say " You are lucky Paaji"
We can then say " We will level at the SCG"
"What do you say, Apple Singh ji?"
So,
Rain rain come down again,
Sachin doesn't want to lose again
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