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Marriage Jokes
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and
companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in N.Y.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How
about the kitchen?"
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then
she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I
bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the
carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but
BOY, can she climb a tree now!
9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
"Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend
home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go
shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy
meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married".
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