OLDIES JOKES
There was a widow and widower living next to each other. They had been
neighbors for over 30 years, but each had lost their spouse not too long ago.
Over a number of weeks, they had become close. One day, the man
asked the woman if she enjoyed fishing. Yes, she replied, she used to enjoy
fishing with her late husband. The man agreed to pick her up at 6 a.m. the next
morning.
They went down to the river at the time they decided the next day, and began
fishing. After a while, the man began to move the boat upstream. They came to a
fork in the river and the man asked the woman, Up or down. Being nice, he wanted
to let her decide.
The woman looked around, promptly took off all her clothes and jumped on the old
man. They had passionate sex. After a while, they redressed and resumed fishing.
Later in the day, they came to another fork in the river. Again, the man asked,
Up or down, and once again the woman stripped and another round of passionate
sex commenced.
That evening, upon arriving home, the man asked the woman if she would like to
go fishing again the next day. The woman agreed.
A little after 6 a.m. the next morning, they got to the river. As they came
across that first fork in the river, the hopeful man asked the lady, Up or down.
Down, the woman replied.
A little surprised, the man headed that way. After a morning of fishing, they
got to another fork.
Up or down, the man asked.
Up,the woman said.
Wait a minute, the man said. Yesterday, when I asked that question, you took all
your clothes off and we had passionate sex. Whats going on?
Well, the woman replied, yesterday, I forgot my hearing aid and I thought you
said Fuck or Drown!
Leisurley Drive
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Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely
see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on
through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must
be losing my mind, I swear we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the
light was red again, and again they went right through. This
time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red, but was really concerned that she was mistaken.
She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to
the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red
and they went right through. She turned to the woman driving and
said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red
lights in a row! You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
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Grandma's Revenge
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When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he
discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest
sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at
you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."
