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PENIS JOKES
Penis Types
Why the Internet is
like a Penis?
Woeful Problem
PENIS TYPES
The Equal Penis: --------Tastes like Sugar.
The Excedrin Penis: ------It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.
The Sprite Penis: ------- Image is nothing...Taste is everything.
The Snickers Penis: ------It satisfies you.
The Alka Seltzer Penis: -- Pop, pop, fizz, fizz...Oh, what a relief it
is..
The Magnavox Penis: ---- Smart. Very Smart.
The American Express Penis:-- Don't leave home without it.
The Pringles Penis: ------ Once you pop, you can't stop
The M & M Penis: -------Melts in your mouth, not in your hand
The Frosted Flakes Penis: ---GGGRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!
The Right Guard Penis: -----Anything less is uncivilized
The Campbells Soup Penis: -----Mmm mmm good
The Kix Penis: --------------Kid tested, mother approved.
The Purdue Penis: ---------- More meat, less bone.
The 7-Up Penis: ------------The UN-Penis.
The Nike Penis: ------------ Just do it.
The Barq's Penis: -----------The one with bite.
The Beef Penis: ------------ It's what's for dinner.
The Twizzler Penis: -------------- It makes mouths happy.
The Nintendo Penis: -------------- Now you're playing with power.
The Starburst Penis: ------------ The juice is loose.
The Toyota Penis: ----------------- I love what you do for me.
The Timex Penis: ----------------- Takes a lickin and keeps on.......
The Burger King Penis: ------------- Have it your way
The Milk Penis: ------------------- It does a body good.
The Lays Penis: ---------------- Betcha can't eat just one.
The Diet Coke Penis: ------------- Just for The taste of it...
The Mortal Kombat Penis: -------- Nothing can prepare you.
The Pizza Hut Penis: ------------ Makin' it great. Again and Again.
The Extra Penis: --------------- Lasts an extra extra extra long time
The Charmin Double Roll Penis: ----It lasts longer because it IS longer.
The Macintosh Penis: ----------- Power is everything.
The Borg Penis: --------------- Resistance is futile.
The Sanka Penis: -------------- Get that good to the last drop feeling.
The Swiss Miss Penis: ---------- The taste you can enjoy anytime,anywhere!
The Payday Penis: ------------- It's almost totally nuts!
The Unisys Penis -------------- The power of two...
The McDonald's Penis: --------- Would you like some fries with that.
And last but not least..
The Nyquil Penis: -----The nighttime coughing, sneezing, runny-nose, itching,
burning, so you can't rest Penis. The
Internet is Like a Penis?
1. It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get
any real work done.
2. In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's
the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most
of the time.
3. It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do
the same damn dumb things it did before.
4. It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this
interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to
tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
5. If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread
viruses.
6. It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours.
7. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to
think coherently.
8. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and
influence warrant.
9. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
10. It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will
warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I do
that?".
11. Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it
were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior.
They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don't have it may
agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do
have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have
it would like to try it.
12. Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would
just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do. One day a man who
had a twenty-five inch penis, went to his doctor for help.
The man told the Doctor he's never had a meaningful relationship. Every time he
was about to make love and pulled his pant down, every woman would take one look
at his twenty-five inches and get scared to death. The man stated: I've heard
comments like: "There no way I can take that thing in me" or "you
think you're going to tear up my insides." Doc it's terrible.
I've tried surgery, steroids restrictive device, I just can't take it anymore.
I'm so lonely, help me!!!!
The Doctor said :Sir the penis is almost all nerves, it would be very dangerous
to try to remove any length, there's really nothing medical I or anyone can do.
To this the man started to cry.
The Doctor felts so bad, he asked the man did he believe in the occult? The man
replied: the occult? Yes the Doctor reply and continued: Well what I'm about to
tell you, you might think strange, but I heard it could work for problems like
yours. Anything, anything said the man with excitement.
Are you familiar with the pond on Old Dutch and Elm? To this the man
replied: "yes." Well the Doctor said quietly, if you stand right at
the edge of the pond and look across you will see, on the far side of the pond,
a Frog sitting on a Lilly pad. If you ask the Frog to marry you and
the Frog says "no", you will loose five inches of your penis.
The man quickly while running to the door replied: " I'll try anything.
When the man reached the edge of the pond. He sees the Frog and immediately
shouts: " WILL YOU MARRY ME?" To this the frog replies:
"no". The man looks down and to his amazement his penis shrinks five
inches.
He let's out a large " WAHOOOOOO" and thinks to himself, "five
more inches I'll be fifteen inches and almost a normal man size." Again at
the top of his lungs he yells to the Frog: " WILL YOU MARRY ME?" the
Frog again replies: "no." And again five inches are removed from
the mans penis.
The man is ecstatic and again thinks to himself: " Hmmmmmmm five more
inches and I'll be ten inches. Bigger than some men but smaller than others. I
will be able to lead a normal life, find a wife to love me and no longer have to
buy custom underwear. Shouting again, the man asked the frog: " WILL YOU
MARRY ME?"
Just as loud the Frog responds: " NO, NO, NO."
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