SAILOR JOKES

A young single guy on a cruise ship is having the time of his life.
On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink.  Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning, but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island.
 
Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, who had also managed to survive this far, but she was unconscious and barely breathing.  He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing and conscious again.
 
She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, "My God, you saved my life!"  He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!
 
Days and weeks go by.  Cindy and our guy are living on the island together.  They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in heaven.  Cindy's fallen madly in love with our man, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night.  True Heaven on earth in the man's eyes.

Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum.  "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks.  "We have a wonderful life together and I'm in love with you.  Is there something wrong?  Is there anything I can do?"

He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is.  Would you mind, putting on my shirt?"

"Sure," she says," if it'll help."  He takes off his shirt and she puts it on.

"Now would you put on my pants?" he asks.  "Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says."  Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?" he asks.

"Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does.

Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?"

She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction.

They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later.  He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude! You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!"

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times sake.  He finds a little prostitute and goes up into the room with her, draping his sailor suit across the bed.

He's goin' at it as best he can for a guy his age and asks, "How am I doin'?" The prostitute says, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."

"What's that?", he asks. 

She says,"You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back."