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Travel Funnies
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Why Americans should never be allowed to travel The following are
actual stories provided by travel agents:
* I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair
wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
*A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
* I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started
to explain the length of the flight and the passport information
when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts.
"Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I
calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in
Africa." Her response ... click.
* A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked
what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to
explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state."
* I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England
from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close
on the map."
* Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and I need a
car to drive between the gates to save time."
* A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that
her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I
tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not
understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane
went very fast, and she bought that!
* A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs
to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She
replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any
connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked
into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city
code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.
* I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know
which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he
replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn
planes have numbers on them."
* "A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one
of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to
Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
whatever."
* A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never
had to have one of those." I double checked and sure
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he
said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every
time they have accepted my American Express."
* A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally,
the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some
searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked
up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus
anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly.
Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map
of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean
Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
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